LOLfetus part trois

I f%cking need to stop with the cursing

By now, I've read "What to Expect" and "Your Pregnancy Week by Week" cover to cover about 3 times each. However, I may have (selectively) failed to notice that, right there in black and white, What to Expect says:

Listen up: Tiny bones in your fetus's ears are in place this week, making it likely that the baby can hear your voice when you're speaking (or singing in the shower)at 16 weeks pregnant. In fact, studies have found that babies who are sung to while they're in the womb recognize the same tune when it's sung to them after they are born (so choose your baby Muzak with that in mind…).

Because Cletus the Fetus got left back at 15 weeks and I am now repeating it, I still have a couple of days to clean up my potty mouth. For those of you who know me "in real life", I have quite the, um, spirited vocabulary. I know pretty much every vile 4 letter word in the English language and use them at every opportune (or inopportune) moment. I do realize that while baby may be able to hear me swear the living daylights out of my husband, dog, or anyone who crosses this hormonal/borderline crazy lady, he/she will not understand it. However, I desperately need to begin curbing my sailor-ish ways well before baby arrives. I would hate for my child to be "that child" that starts swearing at the see-saw and makes his/her teachers blush. Any pointers? Can a gal who cusses like a sailor be transformed into an Amish housewife in less than 25 weeks?

Week 15.....AGAIN

So, I recently had to switch OB's because we Americans are so damn litigious and my old OB couldn't make a buck anymore due to skyrocketing insurance premiums. Well, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise (sort of!) because I ended up getting a "freebie" ultrasound with this new lady. I never grow tired of hearing and seeing my little one, so I jumped at the chance. That is, until they told me....

"Ma'am, you are 15 weeks along with a due date of 7/10/09."

Um, hello? My last OB told me I was 16 weeks along with a due date of 7/3/09. What this means is that I've basically gained back a week. Which, in pregnancy-world, is no fun. One more week of drop-dead fatigue, backaches, round ligament pains (that's a real hoot, let me tell you), gas, insomnia, weepiness, pregnesia and what my girlfriend calls "pregnancy rage". Awesome. But I think what saddened me the most is that it also means one MORE week of waiting until I get to hold the little one in my arms. That just plain sucks. :(

Oh well. As a consolation prize, baby is due (again!) on my late father's birthday AND I got these really cute ultrasound pics to boot. LOLFetus pics to follow shortly....

Itchy Boobs

Today, I want to talk about something serious (since my last post wasn't serious enough, haha). Today, I want to call to mind a pregnancy symptom so mortifying that only a few pregnancy books even dare mention it - if at all - and when it is mentioned, it is only in passing and in hushed tones. That symptom is....drum roll please...itchy boobs. There, I've said it.

Since Week 11, I've noticed that my girls have been less sore (though do not be fooled, they are *still* quite sore!) and more, well, itchy. It started out like a nagging itch, the kind of mosquito bite that is better off left unscratched. Well, by Week 13, it graduated into a full-on eczema-ish itch. You scratch, but the itch is never satiated. Never! I'd sneak into many a restrooms to fulfill my scratching needs. Now, at Week 15 (almost 16!), I have come to a low point. Rock bottom. I am shamelessly scratching my itchy boobs in public. It feels like I have the pox up there, for chrissakes!

Yes, the itchiness is a direct result of (a) dry winter heat and (b) (VERY slowly) growing boobies, but I plead of Mother Nature, is there not a more graceful way to go through this rite of passage?!? And I think some perv might have gotten off of my scratching at the gas station the other day. Ick. Anyway, here's to hoping all of you have an itchy-boob-free pregnancy!

Has science gone too far?

I came across this interesting article today:

http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5gIjpMzWBAID8A0ZVKekX1sWvzlNg

My own father passed away 2 1/2 years ago after a long and arduous battle with prostate cancer. To date, scientists have not yet been able to isolate the "prostate cancer gene" - if one exists - but if they had, I wonder, would I get the test done? And if my child did test positive for the "prostate cancer gene", what exactly would I do with this information?

I watched my dad die a very slow and painful death due to this disease and his last month on Earth was especially not pretty. I do not wish it upon anyone, and I most certainly could not bear to see my own child go through it. On the other hand, how much of a role does genetics versus environment play when it comes to cancer? Certainly there are some (perhaps many!) women who carry the BRCA 1 gene but go on to live cancer-free lives because they have excellent diets, stay active and are diligent with self-exams? Furthermore, if my child had the gene, could she/he not be subjected to discrimination because of it? I can aready see the already exceedingly insurance industry hesitant to insure such individual(s).

Then again, before I start getting all self-righteous, I must address the fact that I *did* just have the Nuchal Translucency screening (not to mention the Cystic Fibrosis carrier testing), so how is testing my child for another potentially lethal illness any different? Where does one draw the proverbial ethical line in medicine? Is it prudent to make such a test (and its results) available for mass consumption? Or is it just another form of eugenics? Thoughts?

2nd trimester

First off, apologies for being so damn MIA lately. If you must know, there was The Christmas Family Drama, then The Holiday Party Craziness, followed by The Terrible Toilet Flooding Incident and finally, The Hiring of Contractors Due to Toilet Flooding Incident. So, my sincerest apologies to the whopping 5 of you (bless your little hearts!) for not posting anything remotely recently...

Second, I have now reached a new milestone in my pregnancy: the second trimester! For those of you not in the know, it marks the period of time after the 12th/13th week but before the 26th/27th week. Because miscarriage rates sharply decline, and because morning/noon/night sickness usually goes away by this point, most pregnant womenfolk rejoice and dance around in glee. This is also the period of time when a "baby bump" first becomes noticeable and when that infamous "pregnancy glow" kicks in.

So, why then, has neither happened to little ol' me yet?!? Even after 14+ weeks, I have no real baby bump to speak of (unless you count my "food baby") and, instead of a pregnancy "glow", I've got a perma-scowl, thanks to those pregnancy hormones. To add insult to injury, I even had a little morning sickness the other day! Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful to The Big Guy Upstairs for blessing me with this little monkey, but c'mon, throw me a bone here! I'm impatient and need some outward sign that this pregnancy is NOT all in my head and that there REALLY is a little baby in there. It's also starting to get really awkward rubbing and talking to my non-existent belly every night!!! :P