Insomnia...seriously!?!?!

Once upon a time, during my sophomore year in college, there was a fire in my dorm.  It was 4 A.M. and it was a big to-do.  There were about 4 Hartford Fire Dept. trucks, 3 ambulances and 4 patrol cars with their wailing sirens and lights right outside my window, while firemen ran around the hallways searching for stragglers.  Not to mention the canned P.A. system announcing in shrill tones, over and over again, "This is NOT a fire drill!  Please evacuate!"  Nevertheless, where was I?  In my bed, sound asleep.  That's right.  I had slept through the entire thing.  In fact, I hadn't known about the entire episode until a friend told me at breakfast that next morning.

I mention this story because it highlights what a sound sleeper I once was.  I say "once" and "was" because I no longer "am" and "now".  Now, the slightest fart (mine or Mike's) will send me off to insomnia-ville for a good hour or two.  And if neither of us has had a particularly gassy dinner, my bladder will surely wake me up - as if on cue - every 2 to 3 hours.  Finally, even IF bladder and bowels cooperate with me, there's Junior, practicing tai chi in my abdomen - also as if on cue - between 2-3 AM and 6-7 AM.  As you can imagine, I have had very little beauty sleep lately.  Coupled with the fact that caffeine is off-limits for the preggers, one can only imagine what a joy and pleasure I must be these days.

Yeah, I know this is Mother Nature's way of preparing the sound sleepers of the world to become vigilant moms, but can I please have a couple more weeks of uninterrupted sleep?  Sleep is my only livelihood, and I am fully aware of the fact that I won't get any come July 3, but for now, I'd like my old sleep schedule back: 10 delicious hours of deep, REM sleep.  One mean-hearted "friend" of mine told me I won't get that for at LEAST another 18 years.  *Sigh*