Holiday driving etiquette

Because I'm feeling uber-bitchy (*unfolds pregnancy card*) and because me and my unborn child cheated death multiple times on the road yesterday, I just wanted to take a moment and outline some holiday driving "tips", if you will.

1. USE signals. Hold up your arms in front of you and make the letter L with your pointer fingers and thumbs. The hand that can form the letter L properly is your LEFT hand. So, if you are turning LEFT, turn your little "blinkie" DOWN. If turning RIGHT, flip it UP. LEFT = DOWN, RIGHT = UP. Do NOT drive with your hazards on EVER, unless you are having a seizure or heart attack. In which case, you probably shouldn't be on the road in the first place, mmmmmk?

2. In crowded parking lots, do NOT hold up 15 cars just because a car in an attractive location in relation to the store YOU need to go to MAYBE looks like it's going to pull out and your lazy ass doesn't want to walk an extra few feet. You can use the exercise, trust me! And there will be other parking spots, I assure you. You are just begging for a good keying.

3. While we're on the subject of parking lots, how about you get your freaking cart out of a perfectly good parking spot?!?! I've seen many a good parking spot rendered unusable due to the lazy lard-asses (see #2) who don't feel like returning their carts back to the proper place. You need the cardio, dammit, and we need parking spaces people!

4. Cell phones. Look, I'm guilty of using them while driving as well. However, I don't screech to a halt as soon as that phone rings, and then drive at about 25 mph because I can't multitask properly. Or almost rear end other people while punching in phone numbers. I had thought this phenomenon would go the way of the Dodo bird with the introduction of bluetooth headsets, but apparently no such luck. Cell phones were dumbed down for us, and if you still can't use them properly, maybe you shouldn't be driving at all!

Sorry if this came across a bit harsh. I'm no Danica Patrick myself, but I've also never committed these egregious driving sins. With the weather getting ever crappier, I wanted to remind everyone to drive safe. We all have 347,872 things to do every day, but we don't necessarily have to risk the lives of those born and unborn to get them accomplished. On that note, happy, healthy and safe holidays to all! :)

Ode to Chips & Ranch Dip

Chips and ranch dip,
You make my heart skip!
When no food sounds divine,
Only you can I dine!

Chips and ranch dip,
You make me want to flip!
Crunchy goodness with tangy sauce,
Make me speechless, at a loss!

Chips and ranch dip,
You've got me in a grip!
However, I won't dare mention
My obscene water retention.

Chips and ranch dip,
You are music to my lip!
But my hips are starting to spread
And my blood pressure is in the red!

Chips and ranch dip,
My scales are starting to tip!
Blasphemous, hideous treat!
That I *sigh* still love to eat...

One more lolfetus...promise!

Wow!!!!!! Just...WOW.

There are only a handful of moments in my life where I truly felt blessed. Yesterday, I had one of those moments, as I saw my little one kickboxing inside my uterus. And then I heard the magical swoosh-swoosh of its heartbeat for the very first time on the Doppler and I thought, "Surely, it can't get much better than this!"

But it does!!!

In less than 29 weeks (*panic*), we will be welcoming our firstborn and adding to our family (move over Kaya!). Having already had one miscarriage under my belt, I realize now that having a baby is not something that should ever be taken for granted. A healthy baby, above all, is truly life's most precious gift. And I'm humbled and overjoyed and blessed to be given this gift and wonder what good I could have possibly done to deserve this.

Seriousness aside, I do have two ultrasound pictures from yesterday's visit! The ultrasound tech gave me the "crappy" ones she couldn't use, but I still love them all the same. Here's my personal favorite:



Is it just me or does it look like McBaby is smoking a cigar? I guess we're going to have to have a little cigarette/alcohol/drugs talk sooner rather than later...

lolfetus

I desperately needed to get my mind off of tomorrow. I waver between sheer excitement at seeing the little fellow/gal that's been shacking up in my uterus and utter dread that something will go horribly wrong at tomorrow's NT ultrasound. Will my baby have Downs? Spina Bidifa? Trisomy? Worse yet, will it even be alive? For those of you who don't know, I recently suffered a miscarriage. Not just a run-of-the-mill miscarriage, mind you, but a "missed miscarriage". My body, perhaps to spare my mind and spirit, decided that, even after the baby had passed on weeks before, it would go through the pregnancy motions. Morning sickness, check. Fatigue, check. Sore boobies, check, check. Viable fetus....not so much.

So, in an effort to take my mind off things, I decided to have a little fun with my early ultrasound pics. I call it lolfetus, and it's an homage to one of the most amazing websites around: lolcats. Enjoy! :)